Tuesday 18 December
2130
Yesterday I went to my first USO show. They have them regularly here, I suppose, but I don’t pay that much attention to them. I have plenty to keep me busy, and plenty to do after hours, so I rarely look for entertainment outside the context of my personal electronics and books.
But someone told me about this show, and I was in just the right mood to go to it, so I did. And it was fun (and funny!)
The people in the show were, in order, Rachel Smith (Miss USA), Louis Black (comedian), Lance Armstrong (cyclist), Robin Williams (comedian), and Kid Rock (musician). The show lasted almost two hours.
It started off pretty dull. Miss USA didn’t have much to say and certainly didn’t put on any entertainment. Besides “showing support for the troops”, I’m not sure why she was there, exactly. I imagine she spent some time on the tour visiting wounded troops in the hospital or something, so that would be time well spent. She seemed very nice and sincere, and I’m sure that up close and personal she is a welcome presence.
071217 USO Show - Louis Black
Originally uploaded by hkp7fan.
After her little spiel came Louis Black. I had never heard of him, although I may have seen him on TV once or twice. He was pretty funny, but I can’t repeat most of his jokes in a family-oriented blog! A lot of his routine revolved around the year-round Christmas calendar and how it has swallowed other holidays. Then he talked about being a Jew and what it was like growing up around Christians celebrating Christmas. (“You celebrate with electricity - *we* have crappy little candles! And a dredel is *NOT* a toy!”) That was pretty hilarious. He also had some funny comments about being in the desert. He said it’s so dry here, he can’t get used to it. “I drink, like, 400 gallons of water a day, it all just runs right through me, and I’M STILL THIRSTY! What’s that about??” That line got a lot of laughs, because it’s true.
071217 USO Show - Lance Armstrong
Originally uploaded by hkp7fan.
After him came Lance Armstrong. He started off pretty funny himself – he said “Why am I here? What have I done besides dominating a bike race and pissing off an entire continent?” Then he had some nice things to say about being a hero. He said he gets called a hero a lot for winning the Tour de France and beating cancer. But he doesn’t consider those heroic, because they were done for his own selfish ends. He said heroism is about doing things for others, which was why he came here instead of going on his planned Hawaiian vacation – so he could tell us he considers us to be the heroes because of what we are doing. I don’t feel especially heroic myself, but it was nice to hear anyway. :-) The reason he was on the tour was that Robin Williams invited him. He said Robin is a big fan of biking, owns dozens of bikes, and has supported the Tour extensively. So that was interesting. He then introduced Robin, who was the main draw for most people there.
071217 USO Show - Robin Williams
Originally uploaded by hkp7fan.
Robin Williams was very funny (and also mostly not repeatable in a family blog). He started off joking about digital camouflage, and how the Army decided we didn’t need to blend in with the desert anymore, we just need to disappear in front of a computer screen. “Let’s get pixelated!”. Then he had some funny things to say about fake beer, which is all we can have here ("fake beer - that's like...nothing!") If you’re over 14 you can ask me what else he said about it…. Then he also joked about the desert. He said “This place is so….NOT beautiful”, which got a big round of applause and laughter.
The most remarkable moment of his entire act was an accident, however. Right in the middle of some joke he was telling, the bugle sounded “Retreat”. This is the warning that the flag is about to be lowered for the day. When you are outside on a military post and “Retreat” sounds, you stop what you are doing and face the flagpole, wherever it is on post. Then, a moment after “Retreat” is over, “To The Color” is played, and the color guard lowers the flag. On the first note of “To The Color”, you come to attention and salute, and hold the salute until a moment after the music stops. Then you drop the salute, relax, and go back to what you were doing.
http://bands.army.mil/music/bugle/
So here was Robin Williams telling a joke to several hundred people, when all of a sudden we all stood up and turned to face the flag. He stopped talking, and it was completely quiet except for the bugle playing “Retreat”. Then, when “To The Color” started, everybody saluted, just like we do every day. When it was over, we turned around and sat down. He just stood there for a second and then said “Wow! I won’t forget that - it’s the first time a whole audience ever turned their backs on me!” It seemed like he didn’t understand what had happened, and somebody near the stage explained it – I heard him say “Oh, the flag was going down”. Then he ad-libbed a couple of jokes about it being called “retreat” (“I hope that’s not what we’re doing here!, etc.”). He also joked about how that was kind of like having your partner suddenly deciding she was done and getting up in the middle of making love. “Ok, honey, that’s it - I think I’ll go shopping now”, etc. It was funny, and got his act going again, but I retained the memory of a long moment that was much like the one I described a year ago when I first got here and saw the flag going up during reveille. Standing there saluting the flag was a truly magic moment of shared pride in being Americans, serving together here at this time and place. The fact that it was during a USO show made it even more special. I can only imagine the impression the entertainers got as they watched us, but for me such moments are a tangible symbol of our common commitment. It made me feel good to be part of it. Here is a link to a clip of the performance on YouTube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-RCIcZ1fIQ
071217 USO Show - Kid Rock
Originally uploaded by hkp7fan.
The final act after Robin Williams was Kid Rock, a guitar player and singer. I am not a fan, but many in the audience clearly were, as they were able to sing along to his songs. He started out with a well-known favorite from Lynyrd Skynyrd– “Sweet Home Alabama”. The fact that Kid Rock is from Detroit didn’t seem to bother anybody – we all sang along anyway. He balanced it out with a song from fellow Detroit rocker Bob Seger – “Night Moves”. After those two, nothing he played was familiar to me, but I enjoyed it anyway. He interspersed his musical act with some patriotic (and populist) commentary, some of which was delivered in a bluesy semi-singing style. It was very folksy and fun, and when he got to the part about “If Kid Rock were President”, he had the audience going pretty well.
071217 USO Show - Kid Rock on stage
Originally uploaded by hkp7fan.
All in all I was glad I went. It was both an effective stress reliever (which I needed) and a nice refreshing touch of home and country. Which is, after all, what they came here to give us. :-)
Music: 3 Doors Down – When I’m Gone
Mood: Relaxed
